How to Cope With Guilt or Shame as the Child of an Incarcerated Parent

Having an incarcerated parent can bring feelings of guilt or shame, even though you’re not responsible for their actions. If you’re feeling weighed down by these emotions, here are some ways to help you move forward with confidence and self-acceptance.

1. Remember That Their Choices Aren’t Yours

It’s important to separate your identity from your parent’s decisions. You didn’t cause their actions or their incarceration. Remind yourself that you are your own person, deserving of pride and respect. You are not defined by someone else’s mistakes.

2. Practice Self-Compassion

Try to be kind to yourself, especially during difficult times. Guilt and shame can make you feel isolated, but remember that these feelings don’t make you weak or flawed. It’s okay to seek support from others or spend time doing things that make you feel good about yourself.

3. Surround Yourself With Positive Influences

Having people in your life who lift you up can be incredibly powerful. Look for friends, mentors, or groups that celebrate your strengths and help you see beyond your circumstances. Being around people who believe in you can help you let go of unnecessary guilt.

4. Focus on Your Own Goals and Dreams

Building a vision for your future can be a powerful way to break free from feelings of guilt or shame. When you set your own goals, you’re reminded that you have a path separate from anyone else’s. Embrace your dreams and work toward what makes you happy and fulfilled.

5. Find Support Through Counseling or Support Groups

Sometimes, talking through these emotions with a counselor or joining a support group can make a big difference. There are people who understand what you’re going through and can offer encouragement, guidance, and compassion. Connecting with others can remind you that you’re not alone in this journey.


It’s okay to let go of guilt and shame, and remember, you deserve a bright future full of possibilities.

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