If you feel unsure about maintaining a relationship with your incarcerated parent, know that you’re not alone—and that it’s perfectly okay to feel this way. The decision is deeply personal, and whatever choice you make should prioritize your well-being. Here are some thoughts to help you navigate this complex question.
1. Acknowledge Your Feelings
It’s normal to have mixed emotions about your incarcerated parent, especially if their actions have caused pain or confusion. Feelings of anger, sadness, or disappointment are valid. Take time to recognize these emotions without guilt. You don’t owe anyone an immediate answer about how you feel, so allow yourself the space to process.
2. Consider Your Own Needs
Ask yourself what you need to feel secure and healthy. Some people find closure or understanding through visits, while others feel peace by keeping distance. It’s okay if you decide that connecting with your incarcerated parent isn’t the right choice for you. You deserve to protect your mental and emotional health.
3. Talk It Out With Someone You Trust
If you’re struggling with this decision, consider speaking with a counselor, mentor, or trusted family member. They can offer a supportive, outside perspective and help you work through any doubts or conflicts you may feel. Talking it out can also provide clarity on what boundaries you need.
4. Remember, Your Decision Can Change Over Time
You may feel one way now and differently later—that’s okay too. There’s no rule saying your choice has to be permanent. Life circumstances, personal growth, or new understandings may shift how you feel about reconnecting with your parent in the future.
5. Know That You Have the Right to Make This Choice
It’s important to remember that this is your life, and your relationship with your incarcerated parent is a personal decision. You are allowed to create boundaries that feel safe for you. No matter what anyone else may suggest, it’s okay to prioritize your needs and well-being.
Ultimately, whether you choose to keep your distance or explore a relationship, you are in control of this decision, and only you can decide what’s best for you.
